Talking to myself..
Just talking about the magical nonsense that is human existence.
The snozzberries do in fact, taste like snozzberries… But that’s beside the point, for a long time I have struggled with introspection and getting to another level of understanding within myself. To be able to peer behind the veil of who I think am, to get a glimpse of who I really am. To see what’s in the way of expressing true authenticity.
I am one of the lucky ones who is interested in understanding what causes me to do the things I do. To see/learn about the “defense” mechanisms we can concoct in our brain as a way of avoiding pain, discomfort, and/or past trauma we’ve brushed under the rug. Our minds are masters at finding ingenious ways to take the focus away from aspects of ourselves we don’t accept, look down upon, or simply don’t want to work on. It’s hard to see the illusions our minds create, with the state of mind that created them. I believe that’s why psychedelics can be a powerful tool for introspection. The shift in perception they bring allows you to view yourself in a different state of mind.
On the flip side, digging through your past and being forced to really look at yourself in the mirror, is not always a pleasant experience. Psychedelics are not for everyone. They can also be dangerous if not used correctly, or made correctly. You should always do your own research before blindly taking someone’s word for it. Being in a safe environment with people you trust, or by yourself, is important. I by no means claim to be an expert and really have a minute understanding of how different compounds effect the body and mind. What I talk about are opinions and observations made through my personal experience. Results may vary. Do your research.
Expansion of Consciousness
Awareness of inner workings, recognition of human ignorance, the realization that nobody really knows the truth of existence, and the discovery of a more harmonious way of living. These are some ways in which I have experienced an expansion of my own consciousness with the assistance of psychedelics. Yes, these are all things I could have read about, put into practice, and grew an understanding of over time, but I was able to get a glimpse first hand.
I like to somewhat view psychedelics as little cheat codes that have the potential level us up faster in the game of life. I do have to say though, not all realizations come so easy. Most of my experiences have been mildly to very uncomfortable. I had a lot of shit deep down, still do, that has been suppressed and ignored for many years. When you let that simmer in the subconscious, it can begin fester and eventually effect your overall well being. In order to grow, we need to face the wounds and bandage them so that we can allow them to heal. Healing and growth can be painful, but also necessary in order to live a healthy harmonious life. Lucky for us, psychedelics can really push stuff to the surface and force us to face it.
We are all human. We are all flawed. If you look at the world and the societies we live in today, how can you not expect to be a little fucked up in some way? We all are! I actually take comfort in the idea that we are still primitive beings trying to navigate through this ever advancing and evolving world. This thought allows me to go easier on myself and find a deeper connection with others. We are all confused and lost in some way or another. We all feel this horrible and wonderful spectrum of human emotions. Interestingly enough, we are still very much hardwired for a very different way of living. The world is evolving at a much more rapid pace than our brains. We truly are modern humans with primitive tendencies. It’s through better understanding of ourselves and the world we live in that improves the quality of our life and those around us.
Here’s the thing, life is not easy and no one said it was going to be, but you can improve your experience. One of the most important things I think you can acquire in this life is knowledge. Yes, you can come to some really great realizations with the assistance of psychedelics, but the more you learn and educate yourself, the more you increase your capacity for understanding. The real work and progress takes place in your day to day life. With the daily choices you make. The result of where you are now is an accumulation of the choices you have made until this point. Psychedelics are great, but by no means necessary. The introspective abilities you inherently possess are where the real power is. The more you practice the stronger they get.
How naive is man to think that he/she is in control? How life likes to remind us we are not. It’s amazing how a brief moment of control and momentum can be so easily squeezed from our souls through adversity. How is it that we can be robbed of which we took so much pride in, so quickly? How our hearts once filled with a flame that felt impenetrable and inextinguishable, be smothered. Where has the fire gone? To fuel the flames of destructive thoughts that spread through the mind like wildfire? How can one so easily fall back into that which has brought so much pain, suffering, and turmoil? How can one just sit idly by when darkness slowly begins to consume the brightness of life? Like water warming so slowly that you don’t realize it’s come to a boil. Where has the passion gone? Where has that overwhelming feeling of love and excitement for life gone? How do you know if you’re learning one of life’s lessons, or moving out of alignment with it?
No one said life was going to be easy. Some definitely have it harder than others, but we all have our lows and highs. The trick is to not give up. It is inevitable that you will fall off the horse. What really matters is how quickly you’re able to brush yourself off and get back on it. Don’t fucking back down now that you’ve come so far. Greatness is earned, not given or found. What is the point if you don’t try to better yourself, increase your capacity for love and wisdom, that which makes us human and beautiful? Expand your mind, understanding of self and others. Continue on the path of enlightenment. Become kinder, more gentle, less judgmental, more empathetic towards others and their situations. You have no clue the life others have lived, the pain and suffering they’ve endured. The wisdom they have accumulated. Listen more, talk less. Have more patience with others, and above all, have more patience with yourself.